My musing

          Husbands-The Great Indian Chamcha of our beloved Mom-in-law

Who do you think has the power to keep the man of the house on his toes and hold the rein of your relationship with your husband?She is undoubtedly the Mother of the son in any common Indian household.And my house being no different ,bear explicit visibility of this piece of sycophancy on almost all corners. Be it the color of the walls of my bedroom or the plants grown in the kitchen garden it has to be approved by her.

But have you ever given a thought of how some people master the art of chamchagiri?There comes the classic question of nature versus nurture.Is it in their genes or has been developed through ages?As this blog is a parenting one and me being a mom can't deny that in some way or the other an Indian upbringing bear an upper hand in it.As parents we love to have that so called 'subodh balok'(the obedient boy in bengali vernacular) who come what may,never disagree his parents(aha a dream come true for a mom of a toddler of 2).

Tracing back in the history of Indian sycophancy,it goes without saying that dependency of our kids  on us come quite naturally as they stay under the same roof for a longer time and mostly for boys their whole life.Everything is smooth sailing in a family until the entry of a new member as 'the wife of the son' and then starts the famous saas-bahu saga,where the son is usually a puppet in the hands of the two women in his life.

Just another day while having our usual girly chit-chat,I came to know how the husbands of some of my friends have not only mastered the talent of sycophancy but also relentlessly ask their wives to hone this skill to bring peace at home.Though sometimes it becomes really difficult to tackle the ball on your court when your personal space is invaded and decisions undermined,it just requires a session of 'Art of Living'  and a bit sense of humor on your part to sit back and enjoy the drama.

Though by God's grace,my mom-in-law doesn't stay with us and spare me from breathing down my neck,but thanks to the improved technology she keeps quite a check  on our lives and my husband like any other Indian man sees her as the epitome of authority in the house.

Let me share you a humorous incident,when even the doting son was not spared by his chamchagiri.
 A few months back,my mom in law visited us and I was having quite a tough time keeping up with her unsolicited parenting advice and how she could mange to keep everyone in her house hale and hearty and  how her son as usual look so frail and so on and so forth.So one fine weekend she decided that she is going to cook her son's favorite dish ie the infamous Mutton curry.Her son being his usual self ,flooded the morning with wonderful praises where moral of the story was that this dish prepared by his mom is hands-down the best in the whole world.And then just as we all sat for the lunch, and I took a spoonful ,I knew this dish was not prepared for me as my lips couldn't bear with the extra hot and spicy curry and I burst into a hellish cough.Suddenly my eyes went over to my poor husband,who had turned red and looked quite funny with a wry smile that he had to put on his face ,though his taste buds moaned and groaned to spare them from this misery.I still get tears of laughter thinking of that incident.

On a final note,I would  like to say that I do respect my mom in law a lot and do believe 'Kiunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' ,after all a chamcha to a mother is a chamcha to his wife too and I perfectly enjoy it.

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